


Life, Death, Love

by NoelleLilacNotte, Yiiiiikes



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot, Steven Universe Future, Steven needs therapy, pink steven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoelleLilacNotte/pseuds/NoelleLilacNotte, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yiiiiikes/pseuds/Yiiiiikes
Summary: One of Steven’s outbursts doesn’t end well.
Relationships: Steven Universe/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 225





	Life, Death, Love

**Author's Note:**

> Set somewhere between Snow Day and Cactus Steven

Steven was upset again. It had been happening a lot lately, he’d flop down face-first on his bed while you were hanging out, ask if he could rant to you, and complain about everything from undercooked fries to his friends’ war crimes. Not that you minded listening, but it had been happening a lot more frequently lately, and he didn’t seem to be feeling better afterwards anymore.

So this time, when he started getting angry enough that he had to pace around his room, you brought it up.

"Hey, I don't want to like interrupt or anything but are... are you okay? Do you need to take a minute to calm down?"

"I'm _fine_ , I'm always fine because I have to be because nobody else ever is!" He was most definitely not fine.

“Stevie, honey, you’re clearly not. You don’t _have_ to be fine, and you’re really upset right now, maybe you should just take a breather for a sec...”

“No, I don’t need to ‘calm down’ or _anything_ like that, what I _need_ is for the people around me to stop acting like they’re so much better than me now! What, Amethyst tells some people to do nothing and she’s suddenly a genius, but I spend all my time _dedicated_ to actually working on the school, and I need to ‘chill out more’? Even _Pearl_ is starting to baby me again!”

Steven put his head in his hands, exasperated. You stood up to comfort him, and he groaned in annoyance when your hand touched his shoulder.

“I’m the leader, I’m the one who always _fixes_ everything, who _heals_ everyone, who puts in the work to make everything _better_ , and they still treat me like some dumb kid!”

"I _know_ you're the leader, Steven but you shouldn't have to be. You're still young, you shouldn't have to be taking care of people, you know?" You were wringing your hands, unsure of what to do with them when Steven reacted negatively to your touch. 

"I know I'm young but I'm not a child!" He said, and you could tell that he was upset about having to reiterate that point.

"I know! I just think that maybe they treat you like you're still a child because... because they know you had to grow up way too fast. I really do think that they're trying to help but they're just not-"

"Since when have any of them done anything for anyone but themselves?!" Steven interrupted. You reached out to him again, not sure what to say but he brushed off your hand with a firm "don't."

“Steven, I—“

“No! You know what, no. I’m going for a walk, I’m gonna...I don’t even know, yell at the trees? At least _they_ will actually _listen_ to me instead of trying to fix me!”

“What?! It’s like 30 degrees outside, you’ll freeze!”

“See, even _you’re_ doing it now!”

He stormed off before you could protest, slamming the door on his way outside. You were shocked for a minute, he’d never raised his voice at you before!

Once your mind caught up with reality, the panic set in. It was snowing out, not even he could stand to be out in the freezing wet cold for very long. So you did the only logical thing, and went after him.

You didn't bother putting on a jacket or a hat, you just wrapped your arms around yourself and prayed that you wouldn't be out there for long. It didn't take you long to find him but you were already shaking like a leaf when you did.

"Steven, I'm sorry!" You called, trudging through the snow. It was getting harder and harder to see, the wind blowing flakes directly against you. By the time you noticed he'd gone entirely pink you were less then five feet away from him.

The ice spots around him were all cracked, and you were pretty sure the snow around his feet was starting to melt. He was crying, still yelling to himself, too fast for you to make out what he was saying.

“STEVEN!” You yelled, hoping he could hear your voice over the icy winds.

He just yelled, angrily, and stomped his foot when he turned to face you. You’d never seen him so mad before, his furrowed eyebrows, annoyed scowl, and tear tracks looking foreign on his face. You stepped back, and then the shockwave hit you, and you went flying. 

**crack**

Your head snapped back and hit what felt like a chunk of ice. You could feel a trickle of blood drip down your face from your nose, the warm liquid going cold quickly when it hit the air.

The last thing you saw before you blacked out was the pink glow fading from Steven’s now terrified face.

Steven saw your head lob to the side and felt the heat drain from his body in fear.

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Please don’t be hurt, I can’t let them be hurt.”

Immediately he scrambled to get to your side, only just realizing how painful the harsh winds were. He dropped to your side shook your shoulder. You didn't react. At all. Steven couldn't even tell if you were breathing. 

He lifted your head as gently as he could, hoping you would do something, *anything* to let him know that you were okay. With your head out of the snow, Steven could see the glossy red blood leaking from the back of your head and staining a chunk of ice. When he looked back at your face your eyes were completely glazed over. You hadn't even blinked yet.

The blood from your nose was freezing against your skin.

With shaking hands, he lifted you up, putting his ear to your chest in the hope that he’d be able to hear your heartbeat.

Silence. Dead silence.

Steven’s hands clapped over his mouth, his entire body shaking from the shock and the cold. Your eyes slipped shut as your head fell into his lap, no longer supported by his hands.

He shivered. You didn’t move. He shook you gently. You didn’t move. He begged for you to wake up. 

You didn’t.

Steven cried harder than he’d ever cried before. He’d spent so long promising that he’d protect you, so much time keeping you safe from outside threats, only for one of his outbursts to end up with you gone.

A hot tear fell onto your face, and your body started glowing with the familiar pink light he was beginning to hate.

By the time you’d started breathing again, the blood on your face had dried, but you still hadn’t woken up. You shivered, and that was all Steven needed to know that you were alive.

As soon as he heard your first shuddering breath, he was already carrying you back inside. 

All he could think as he tried to shield your shivering body from the wind was _'why?'_

Why did you have to come after him? Why didn't you just stay inside and wait, or better yet go home? Why did he have to hurt the one person who he felt like he didn't have to _save?_

He laid you down on the couch and immediately started up the fireplace.

He sat on the couch with his hands clasped for almost an hour before you finally woke up. The cold didn’t hurt nearly as bad as the sight of your now pink-tinted body and hair lying motionless on a pile of pillows in front of the fire. 

When you finally woke up, he ran to you. He had his arms wrapped around you before you could even rub the sleep out of your eyes. He held you tight enough to make your ribs hurt, using the position to hide his tear-stained face in your hair.

You couldn’t see him crying, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t feel his full-body shivers or hear the breaks in his voice.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, oh my god I’m sorry...!”

“Steven? What happened?”

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to!" He was holding onto you like you were a lifeline. You let him cry it out, trying to ignore the headache that was burning at the back of your skull. When his hyperventilating had slowed to sobbing you gently pulled him away so you could face him.

"Steven, it's okay, I don't even know what you're talking.... about." In the middle of your sentence you had reached up to hold his face in your hands, only to realize that your hands were now _pink._

"I'm so sorry." He said, sounding more broken than you had ever heard. You stared down at your pink skin for a moment longer before looking back up to Steven.

"It's okay, I forgive you." You said, starting to piece together what had happened.

Steven looked at you like you’d gone crazy. He grabbed your shoulders and stared you in the eyes with a look of concern. 

“It’s ‘okay’?! WHAT are you talking about?! You...I...I _killed_ you!”

“You brought me back.”

Steven looked like he was about to scream, or burst into tears. But he didn’t, he just pulled you back into a clingy hug and mumbled “sorry” in between apologetic kisses on your cheek. 

You let your head fall onto his shoulder, content to let him cry his sadness out. You looked at the now almost-white hair falling around your face, the rosy pink tinge on your skin, and wondered idly if you’d have to find a new wardrobe for your new complexion.

You wondered how you were going to explain this to everyone.

"My moms gonna lose her shit when she sees this," you said half jokingly, but Steven didn't smile. He wouldn't even look you in the eyes. "Steven..." You started to speak but didn't know what to say. You weren't sure if anything you said could console him.

But when he looked at you with those guilty exhausted eyes your heart broke. You pulled him in for a brief, tight hug and then shakily rose to your feet.

"C'mon, lets sit somewhere not on the floor, pillows don't make as good of a bed as one might think." You said, holding out your hand to him and trying not to stare too hard at yourself as you did. You gently pulled him back over to the couch, sitting down doing your best to let him know that everything was okay.

You laid down next to him with your head resting on his leg like you’d done so many times before. His hand hovered above your hair for a second, before he ran his fingers gently through the fibers. He still didn’t look at you, just kept his eyes pinned to the fireplace. You drifted off, still comforted by Steven and his presence. 

He finally looked down at you when your breathing slowed. 

This isn’t what he’d wanted. Steven’s mind cycled through everyone, everything he and his mother had ever hurt. He’d never wanted to have to add you to that list, but here you were, still thawing out from _dying in the cold_ because of him. 

The softness of your hair on his hands grounded him, but the sensation also reminded him that this was real, and that despite everything that had happened, everything that he’d done, you were still there. Still snoozing away with your kind eyes and kissable face resting on his lap.

He wondered if he was in love with you. He wondered if you were in love with _him_. He wondered how bad the damage control was going to be once someone found out what had happened. 

He’d decided long ago that he was going to protect you. But that night, he decided that he’d also let you protect him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ya like pink.


End file.
